He refuses to talk to a therapist even though she feels he may be depressed. Heres How You Can Help. If we knew each other personally, Id be quick to extend our familys Xbox gaming info. This sounds just like my son. My son was in band and then marching band in HS. ANY feedback you can provide is appreciated. But, my son has no friends and its breaking my heart. My heart breaks for him because he is an introvert but also wants friends and has had a hard time making them. The ones who will understand and appreciate her. Sign Me, Fabuloso Issues Recall After Finding They May Contain Potentially Harmful Bacteria, FDA is Warning People Not to Cook Chicken in NyQuil, There is A Huge Capri Sun Recall After Cleaning Solution Was, Five Tips For The Total Nightmare That Is Packing School Lunches, Eight Sweary Planners To Help You Get Through 2022, The Best Gifts for Tweens And Teens in 2021. I dont know how we can get ahold of one another. Hes my oldest and hes extremely lonely and it breaks my heart. You give yourself a break, you realize you dont have to have a ton of friends, its ok to have quirky interests it takes the pressure off. Reddit, Inc. 2023. He was invited to birthday parties and had a lot of play dates. Insist on a plan with measurable outcomes . He can find safety and friends in the arts. Theyre at the same developmental stage as he is physically awkward, hormonally overwhelmed, and not the greatest and taking stands on behalf of the little guy. Its true that he will make friends as things change. Its not am easy life for kids like ours. Until then, hangout with him, watch the movies he moves, and just be his bestie. Gentle spirit and kind he usually plays alone because other kids dont want to be around him he really loves cars and will do everything with them and other kids his age dont really have a set favorite thing he is content to play quietly right now, however as he grows I see him being very introverted I was rejected by peers all my life because of how I am too even tho I try I break for my oldest hes a sweety and everyone is missing out! Help him find unique groups that will have a higher concentration of kids similar to him. Maybe they will grow into stronger friendships. He's so loving that it makes me ache, so generous that it's hard for him to keep money in his pocket for long. He doesnt have a tribe I can chauffeur around, a team to meet up with, a friend to have inside jokes with. He was in such a bad head space and he became more and more with drawn. You need need clear verification from them that they will act on their decisions and follow through . My second son, my middle child, is so very special. There are many reasons why a child may not have many, or any, friends. But life gets better, and people who are different are the ones who make something of themselves, and are often the most interesting. See Im awkward now. This is essentially my story/my sons story. He has always struggled in school and as he has gotten older has less and less of a social life (like, none). My girl is turning 16 in a few months too, she has also given up. We tried for 6 months to find a friend who would go ride go-carts with him to celebrate turning the big 10, and finally just had to make it a family day. Probably about the size of an 11-12 yo. My 14 year old son has no friends. There is no better teaching in this world, thats for sure! Fact Checked Why does my Child Have No Friends? Adults adore him. I hope he finds a friend, Brilliant idea! I want him to develop healthy relationships but between home difficulties and his teen avoidance, I don't know what to do. But the next breath will be that he wants to get married and have kids one day. 2) A love of technology: To the detriment of other more social pursuits. My 11 year old is the same. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. Depression in Teens: The Warning Signs and How to Help Them Through As soon as I saw the title I connected. The loneliness taking its toll and making it harder to connect with others. Also Read: 14 Things Every Child Should Learn Before Turning 10. . In fact it was horrible for him. Perhaps there is an alternative school he could try? Specialty camps are a place that many kids thrive in (not YMCA camps or other daycare options). Discussion forum for parents in Australia, 08-28-2017 Not sure what would be available where you are since you said your in a small country town. be patient and know, he will find that friend, but it may be junior high or even high school. 3. Breaks my heart to read so many comments with similar experiences yet our children are so alone. When I asked him why he doesn't try to arrange things himself and invite people from school, instead of waiting for other people to invite him, he said he didn't think that would work. This is my daughter. So my son has sat in more nursing homes, hospitals and funeral homes than the average adult and hes 9yrs old. I cry often for him. What To Do If Your Child Has No Friends At School - Netmums It take a village those mom should know better and teach there kids to reach out to the lonely kids!! Many teenage boys that I've worked with maintain "special friendships" with girls, mainly. On-line homeschool probably saved his life, literally! Anything that he enjoys doing . I have literally said the same words about my 14 y/o son. I have a 12 year old boy looking for a friend. Tell him that kids who are bullies have issues with their sense of self and their own lives and even though it may seem it's about him , it's really about them and what they have yet to learn about respect , dignity and self worth . My 16 year old has had good friends most of his childhood, but is going through a rather lonely phase now, partly because he is somewhat immature socially . He doesnt want to go to games anymore, and to be honest, I cant blame him. It wasnt a fun journey; however, I believe my loneliness will help others like your son find a community who understand him & wants the best for him. Maybe you could form some sort of group for kids in a similar situation with similar interests? My 14 year old son has no friends. Hi@NywvmomTo2. To me you were you and i was me. and our So I feel like hes almost pushing old friends away & its his social anxiety. Hi@LuckyGirl2000Welcome to Reach Out and thank you for sharing your story. Gym is by far the best way for shy people to meet friends and partners! So you want to get an outsider, a counselor involved to help her learn how to play that game. Theres often a way to find a new environment and its vital for our kids. Bring it to your meetings . But whenever the other one gets sick or not at school, he is alone again, like today. Any advice would be great as Im out of suggestions for him. My soon to be 17 yr old has no strong friendships either and I feel your pain. It must be so hard for you to watch this happen for him. He attends social functions and tries to meet other kids but no one wants to sit by him. Prayer has helped me thought so much with her situation hope it might be something you can lean on for support. He barely goes outside. He's a nice kid, a good kid. This has been true since about fourth grade when he never asked for friends to come over or got asked to stay over much with other kids. You need to find the things for him. ? My Son Has No Close Friends: Do I Need to Worry? - HuffPost It looks like youre visiting us from a country other than Australia. Shes an overachiever, beautiful, funny , sarcastic , loving and kind to a fault. But his distaste for arrogance and false fronts means he has a hard time faking it, and tweens are quick to spot a poser. My kids arent this kidbut I was for sure him! . My 14 year old son is having an awfulTime in high school and says he has no friends. This is also her life. Microgirl . Archived post. Testosterone and Estrogen Levels in . Hello, My son was diagnosed at 5 years old with several issues, to include ODD and extreme ADHD (medicated) and has struggled his whole life to make friends and form relationships. Her dad died when she was eight, so she matured quickly and didnt have a lot in common with the other kids. My son is 12 and about to be having another lonely birthday. In middle school tweens are put in a box they cant break out of but just wait til he gets to high school. Im sorry to hear this my mothers heart aches for him. (found out by accident) Then joined a Track Team, hes still alone cause there are no others his agebut hes excelling and loving that hes seeing progress & change! He struggles with all my suggestions and has anxiety about going into the different groups he could join. I come to you with sadness. He was bounced everywhere bc I had to take care of my parents (both sick with different types of cancers) and then they passed (within weeks of each other) and then my sister (who was fighting a different type of cancer) passed a little over a month after our parents. I'm so sorry to hear about your son. This breaks my heart as my 11yr old boy is the exact same way, and he is alone always I just want him to have a friend, I wish I could make other kids stop teasing him and love him as much as I do ! . If you say negative things about the friend, it's . Honestly, I have come to kind of hate that term. He finished college with Suma Cum Laude and now has a job. I know we arent supposed to be our kids friend, but I will be her best friend as long as she needs me to be. My boy is 18 now and beginning to feel hopeless. I can't control my 3 year old, My daughter is being left out by her friends and wont go to school, See at 18 I liked keeping myself to myself much opposite to others he will come across friends without forcing and aslong as he happy and working hard I don't think it matters to much. If your son seems "fine" with his more limited network of friends, make sure you aren't transferring your own needs and/or insecurities onto him. Share Tweet Agony aunt Katharine Whitehorn hears from a mother concerned about her lonely son's lack of friends. Hi, My 14 year old son was acting strangely after the first lockdown and was saying he was with a friend and was out a lot. It is hard to watch them struggle and feel powerless to do anything. So sorry so many are struggling, but crying with relief to know we are not alone. The older he gets, the more the world will open up to him, and Ill never stop giving him chances to try. I also have an 18 year old just like yours, bullied all thru high school. Covid is not helping. We are going to check this out! I made friends easier. I also have a 12 year old introvert that has a hard time making friends. Quite often, this means they do not believe they are worthy of love. I see his friends from elementary school wave & say bye to him as we leave places but he gets so anxious that he walks by super fast & mumbles bye, which they def dont hear or see. I have friends in a local group here and they are some of the most welcoming and interesting people! His story breaks my heart because it reads exactly like my sons. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); The author of this piece has chosen to remain anonymous. She has 2 friends from the last town we lived in. She is also an old soul with nothing in common with her peers. Last year, he started middle school and met some new kids but got in trouble with them. Is Your Child Inviting Rejection? | Psychology Today Shes lonely and Im her best friend, and I know she needs just one person to share herself with. I just want to protect him fr/potential mean kids & it rips me up inside thinking of what may/may not be happening in school. He approaches groups of boys with his head already down, convinced they dont want to talk before he even opens his mouth. Sometimes we have to look farther to find what we need. Hes intelligent and loves to read. Hi Erica Just need to become a regular (3-4 times/week same times and days every week; other regulars will soon recognize and accept). I wasnt the norm or stuck with the status quo. It was really brave of your son to speak out about the bullying - it's sad to hear how this has impacted him though. Aside from that, he seems to do much better in one-to-one situations compared to being in a group. My 17 yo daughter has experienced periods of loneliness, gone through different groups of friends and at times feels like she doesn't fit into any group at school it is really heartbreaking. The kids he calls "friends" asked him to join the 7th grade football team but outside of seeing kids at school, there is no other social interaction. Its so unnecessary for our kids to feel like this. My poor baby feels so alone and I dont know how to make him feel better. I don't know what else to do. She hides in the library during break time, as she told me she feels awkward eating alone. Perhaps, with monitoring and candid conversations about web-safety, parental controls privacy expectations (for safetys sake) you could find a site he could be a part of. My husband is a pediatric psychologist and started this website after seeing many families with this same story. Most of the other kids are nice to her, but wouldnt hang out with her, be her actual friend. Hi my 18 your old son as no friends just at college but not where we live and its scary. Continue to love your child and nurture his interests - it's the most important thing! I think this is a baptism of fire for us as much as our children I can honestly say nothing has taken me to such highs and lows as the hopes and expectations I have had in my son and watching/realising how cruel the world can be (adults can be just as cruel I have found) if you are even slightly different. It is painful, I have two boys and fee like I can relate. That might work. So, I knew he wasn't being mean to Liz. I think being untuned to what they go through is so important. I have a bunch of gamer kids that meet the same description. He is empathetic to other people which isnt common for 14 as most are self centered at this age. Shes somewhere in between and doesnt fit in. He had a lot of friends growing up. He was bullied throughout high school and ended up spending a lot of time alone in his room but he found a passion in computer science. I thght things wld change in high school, but again shes different. I watch, hopeful each time, and fight the tears as they all part ways. Also, I was/am a bit socially awkward, but my best friends are not like methey compliment me like a puzzle. I wish I could tell you it will become easier it wont She explains: 'Remember that making friends takes time. They sound like twins. Same sarcastic sense of humor and has always been able to hold her own in a conversation. Kind of like Captain America, before he became amazing, he was tiny, ignored and insignificant yet had the most wonderful pure heartwhich is what got him chosen and strengthened his super powers later on! The ones that end up being mean to her quickly change their tune when they are made aware of her delay. Cross-country? Smart, sarcastic, and realistic to a fault. I have cancelled a trip to Spain in two weeks because Im so worried about leaving him on his own whilst he is feeling like this. Has anything changed or improved for him since your post? One person to like me. But my lack of sense of belonging doesnt only come from being an old soul. Its about how males and females process things. He had a lot of friends growing up. Sending you both heart healing hugs as you navigate these waters for a little while longer. He had a friend who lived close who he used to hang out with regularly, but the kid and his family moved away about 3 years ago. The happiest, smiliest, kid you could meet. Ugh this turned into a depressing therapy session! And I cry and pray for her. 9 month baby showing signs of autism, unsure if I'm paranoid? It wasnt until my twenties that I found true friends all mostly older than me. As I read this I fell apart. One day, a younger kid (2 years younger than my son) came to tell me that when my son wanted to join for a play and was rejected, he cried.
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