He said he couldnt cope doing no contact and that he wants to speak to me whenever I need him or whenever he needs me. All in all, the unfortunate deterioration of his health affected his emotional health and caused him to think and feel differently about you. I felt awful for being the person who quit first, but unfortunately, love and awfulness dont go hand in hand. If he felt angry or disappointed with you, he should have expressed himself instead of bottling up emotions. Infact by being friends maybe we could have a second chancehe just wont talk to me though! The day after that, he started liking my pictures, even though he didnt even do that while we were dating. Theyre emotions that seldom impress an ex, let alone bring him back. Thanks for being here for me I was stressed, so I said that because I wanted to receive her love and ease my pain. Thank you for the article suggestion. I tried to come up with solutions which I think probably only pushed him away further. I have been with my boyfriend for the past two years, we had both just broken up from long term relationships and we just connected. A few days later he messaged and hes messaged ever since. In my opinion, you should have been the one who left because you werent getting what you wanted. By And that would have hurt you even more because you would have felt insignificant. What should I do? And if youre looking for personalized 1-on-1 guidance,click hereto see our coaching plans. This is because love is either there or it isnt. So dont take your exs love words in a literal manner. Should I have left then? Tell him you're there for him. At least that way you have actually have a shot at getting him back by re-attracting him. Why is he acting like this? He's Changed. I suggest that you wait for him to unblock you and make the first move because hes still the dumper. Difference Between Radio Silence And No Contact. 8 True Reasons Why Guys "Pop Up" Months Later - Attract The One Should You Take Him Back After He Dumped You? - Vixen Daily Is He Over Me? 17 Signs Your Ex Is Pretending To Be Over You 7 Signs a Man Loves You But Is Afraid to Accept His Feelings I have learned so much on here. Why did he say he loved me then one week later dump me? Id hate to see you here a few months down the line asking for advice about this relationship. Want Dr. Gilda to answer your relationship questions? Mixed Signals: Signs He's Falling In Love But Scared - BetterHelp I unexpectedly had to go away for two weeks, I was worried about telling him as we were so happy. When You Realize He Never Really Loved You | Thought Catalog Fortunately, I soon realized that I was confessing my feelings for the wrong reasons, so I stopped and havent said I love you under those circumstances since. How can he feel so strongly and then not the next day?! I told him his actions and words did not match n he aint the person I thought he was. He knows I wont be capable to handle his loss but he still hurts me with the way he talking. I feel like he needs to go do those things on his own. If you ask me, that isnt love. I often see him looking at me but dont know if he is just doing this to check I am ok as sometimes he does see me get upset about the break up. All Im saying is that theres a better way to express emotions when youre having a difficult time. I broke up with a girlfriend of a year a few months back. He couldnt handle you asking him things (which shows care and interest, btw. Thanks for sharing your story. 18 Signs He Will Never Come Back (And 5 Signs He Will) 5. And unfortunately, love is not enough to make a relationship work. Please take whatever a man says at face value. Every loss just piles up. Please keep doing what you do because you are amazing at it. Did he break up with me because he panicked? Yes I learn this on the hard way go nog dont analyze a guys words. He Has to Lose You to Realize Your Worth - Magnet of Success he actually is usually really good at it and let me in a lot. I cant remember what exactly I was worried about (it may have been work), but I approached her by saying, I love you so much. We can make exceptions for cases of universal, eternal scientific truths (eg "The sun rises in the east") but it is always best to stick to the back-shift. Since we first saw each other a little over a year ago, its been a major flirting thing with us. Do you have any advices for me ? Me and my boyfriend having hard times, well mostly me. Mine gave me words but I have to say that his daily actions didnt measure up and clearly his running away action is unacceptable. I think he knew. <3 I wish you peace and the love that you deserve. I dont want him out of my life. But he said it was too late, and that I shouldve realized these problems on my own sooner. He just said it was better to stop. But about a month ago it became obvious he was seeing others and had made no plans to see me. I felt like he is ashamed of his problems and had insecurities with me. A man who won't talk about his emotions is one to be approached with caution - you don't want to scare him by forcing him to talk about the way he's feeling. If I told her, Im having a difficult time coping with stress and/or loving myself today I would have been honest with her. Don't waste your time with guys like that. Narcissistic Love Patterns: The Romantic | Psychology Today You expressed yourself very openly and showed him hes important to you. I hope you know youre helping a lot of people going through the same rough patch as I am, and we all appreciate you. I just hate that I was obviously lied to at some point - just wish I knew where. I have never pleaded or asked him to get back but have made the mistake recently about asking for his real reasons for breaking up as this constantly changes in conversations. Do you think he is genuine? Thank you so much for your kind words. Your ex claimed to love you because he felt bad about breaking up with you. Let this particular case serve as a warning not to accept your ex back on a whim. Just try keep yourself very busy doing other things and let him sort out his issues on his end, there isnt anything else you can do!! You must let him feel that way so he doesnt feel pressured. Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window), Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window), Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window), Click to share on Reddit (Opens in new window), Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window), Click to share on Telegram (Opens in new window), Click to share on WhatsApp (Opens in new window), My Boyfriend Still Loves His Ex But Loves Me Too, He Loves Me But He's Marrying Someone Else, My Ex Says He Still Loves Me But Has A Girlfriend, He broke up with me but says he will always love me, If he loves you he will come back no matter what, Why did he break up with me if he still loves me. He also said something about wanting to be free, which stung. Youve put your attention to work all your life and as a result, didnt acquire many dating skills. The guy stopped valuing you and working on the relationship, so things deteriorated and fell apart. He told me He Loved me, then Dumped me - LoveShack.org I know he'd been a bit distant for a while, but I thought we were okay and that it was just a phase. He wants to let you down easy and soften the blow. When a guy breaks up with you and says he still loves you, he does that not because he loves you and regrets breaking up with you but because he hates hurting you. My friends think I should just go for it. I do pity him for that, and it hurts me that he is hurting. I have been in my relationship for 21 years and my partner called it off 4 months ago , saying he thinks we should split as we are not good for each other and a split would be good for us both and that he loves me and will always love me , which I obviously found confusing as you dont give up on a relationship if you love someone. Things were fine for a few days, but when the guy saw that she hasnt changed and/or taken her power back, he started to feel overvalued by her, detached from her, and left her again. When they feel bad for their ex, on the other hand, they arent missing their ex and craving his intimacy. Such dumpers have a tendency to message their ex a lot (send him breadcrumbs) and express the wish to stay friends. about 2 days later he txts me and asks if he is allowed to comment on my stuff on fb so I call him up and pretty much say; "I love you very much, and even if you told me you dont love me I can't believe it. he and i talked about how we missed each other so much and loved each other. Also stay out of contact, no texting or responding to those generic hello how are you texts. 7. But it was a choice between accepting abuse and my self-respect. Stay in no contact and wait for him to realize your worth. I was devastated. He just confuses his guilt for love. Keep writing Zan. You had no say in the matter. Thats why lots of guys cry during the breakup. Allow Yourself to Feel Studies have shown that the. Good riddance. What is the difference between the 'He told me he loves me' and - Quora 7 Reasons Why a Guy Acts Interested Then Backs Off I'm guessing if you are reading this post, some guy did this to you. Your entire world can completely change in a matter of moments and you might find yourself not knowing exactly how to move on from your ex. If he worries about you and wants to make sure you're okay, he still has feelings about you. I like to stay at home, make cookies and watch movies, where he wants to go out to parties, to the bar, and socialize. Im begging anyone to help me understand all of this. This is bad because a guy who cant control his feelings now wont control them later either. Viewing 11 posts - 1 through 11 (of 11 total). by Giulia Simolo Apr 11, 2023 iStock/ilona titova The breakup hit me out of nowhere. But, he apparently has been feeling this way since 9 months ago, January, but more strongly over the summer when we had more time to talk to one another. Many thanks, am. The message he wants to communicate is: I don't want to be in a relationship with you. Months later we had a row and I asked him if he wanted to sort things and he refused to discuss it. But he still hasnt contacted me. He has decided to breakup and move out to work on growing as a person and to pursue his goals 100%.. This indicates that his mind wasnt in it from the beginning and that it will likely not until hes changed. We didnt really argue, our familys loved eachother and we could be completely ourselves with one another. AskMen, Become a Better Man, Big Shiny Things, Mantics and guyQ are among the federally It started when his family started having serious problems and he didnt want me to be involved in his familys mess. I dont think this relationship will last if it keeps going the way it has been. Now, both those statements are a little depressing to hear but I would gladly take the "I don't think you are attractive" one over the "I never loved you" any day of the week. he just sadly listened and said goodbye as well. I have done everything I could to fix our relationship. This frustrated me a lot. So dont get pulled back into it. The meaning of "I love you" depends on when he says it: Time, place, situation. Because of his beliefs and his inability to properly express himself and deal with problems, he fell out of love and decided break up. This is a very common technique people use when theyre hurt. Open up to him and encourage him to do the same to you. When I arrived home I phoned him and asked him to stop adding girls as it was hurting me and he said he would remove them.Things went from bad to worse he hardly messaged me for nearly a week. She is a professor emerita, has written 15 books, and her latest is Dont Bet on the Prince!Second Edition. He has the "I don't really care" attitude. Loss of self to a partner often plagues women. So if youre hoping that your ex still loves you, know that its unlikely your ex meant what he said. Why go through all that trouble? Dumpees who accept their ex back right away oftentimes get broken up again. Im not saying he will, but if he does, it will be because youre not speaking. Sincerity is the first trait you should look for in your ex. So when my boyfriend texted me to say he didn't want to be with me anymore without any explanation whatsoever, I couldn't deal. Go no contact and let him do all the work. I was confused by the sudden pull back so asked him if something was wrong. Can I win him back? He was honest in saying he wasn't ready for a relationship, was too busy, liked doing his own thing. Then minutes after I cant search his Facebook anymore and I think he blocked me, even in insta. The reason he left me was because he said I asked too much of him. I know I need to get out of that house which will hopefully happen soon but just wondering if you have any advices as how best to handle the situation whilst still living together? I know his mind is too clouded and I dont want to leave him because he might think that I am just the same as his family who never understand him and would leave him in a second. so I hesitantly took him back and the next week was great. And if I'm honest with myself, I knew it too. He does get extremely angry and has a tendency to do silly things to hurt me. I really hope you can give me some clarity on my situation. Zan. We got together even though we are both depressive and anxious, but we managed to live with these while curing our wounds on our own. He seems to feel a bit trapped in the relationship with you and needs space to rediscover himself. But because I was afraid of telling her I was struggling to cope with anxiety, I told her I loved her and expected love in return. Dont ask him any difficult questions that involve his feelings, behavior, or the future. Are you still wondering, Why did he break up with me if he still loves me? Let me know what you think by leaving a comment below. I just dont see us living together or raising a family together if we are this different and cant have proper conversations about our true feelings. 17 Signs Youre Still in Love With Your Ex, 425+ Crazy Truth or Dare Questions to Ask Your Friends, Ask a Guy (Dating Tips / Relationship Advice for Women): Frequently Asked Questions. He then introduced me to his parents and took me to a birthday party of friends. Your ex's friends and family try to convince you to talk to them. Now I am back to level 0 because hes telling me there is no hope. My first instinct is to go over to him and exchange numbers. He says I feel extremely guilty for having to leave you. Last week he was so loving to me, it feels like we were back to the old us. That broke his heart understandably. He couldnt give me a proper reason why he wants to break up. She provides advice and coaching via Skype, email and phone. So dont analyze a guys words. They tell you what your ex feels about you and to what extent he wants you in his life. Okay, so after being dumped by my seven month long boyfriend, I took it hard. Dont tell him you love him the second he tells you how he feels about you either. 1. Were definitely interested in each other. I have been with my ex for 6 months and weve broken up two months ago but i cant get closure from him. Dear Therapist: I Had an Affair With a Married Man - The Atlantic They dont know that staying in touch with their ex hurts their ex more than if they were to let their ex go cold turkey. I know you dont want to lose him, but you mustnt be afraid! What he said was mean, Carmen. I just can't stop wondering if he will consider it or just will forget me or txt me hoping to just be friends, but maybe in a month i will have moved on. Bear in mind that if the dynamics in the relationship dont change quickly that one of his tantrums is going to be his last. Its because your pain causes him pain. In your case, you were fighting a battle between emotions and rational thinking for quite some time. He was honest with you, but it was moving too fast for him. Should I reply when he texts me or should I go completely no contact like the internet seems to think is essential for a relationship to work? I am new into relationships. Whatever the cause, he certainly doesn't sound ready for that level of intimacy.
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